Tuesday, 12 April 2011

Would you like to wear that ring?

I saw a few pictures of tattoos gone wrong. Spelling errors that got me wondering, "Was the tattoo artist drunk or sth?" Well no need to wonder what I thought of the tattoo bearer... yea, either he/she is dumb or just recovered from psychosis.
I watched a video of a girl that regretted having her tattoos a few years after she got them. What was her reason? "I was just being a very crazy teenager, now that I'm grown, I think that was the worst mistake I made as a child".

Yea I sit down and feel like I made some mistakes as a child myself but thank God mine weren't permanent...like a long lasting reminder of how stupid you were when you actually thought that you were indeed brave.
Well I still think it's not wise to let children make decisions for themselves. No matter how much sometimes children like to feel like they are really matured(even when they are not), age has a significant role to play in maturity. It's called development, as you get older, you see your fingers growing longer, there are also some certain changes that are occurring within you that you may not be able to see. I know we like to encourage young children to try to be independent these days, more often than not, the reason is because we are just scared that they may scream "I'm old enough to make decisions for myself" one day. Nevertheless, I'm so happy that I had people that I could listen to, people that would tell me the truth about things my small mind couldn't comprehend then. I know now I've got you thinking that I probably would have covered my face up with 56 stars  (Remember her? click here ) or maybe I would have been a Lil Wayne look alike...yea maybe!... 
 even though this might seem like I'm indeed talking about tattoos, but really I'm not.

I'm  talking about marriage!
Desperate people rushing to tie the knots. There's no need for me to say people because we all know when I mean people I mean girls mainly. It's like they are in a market, trying to sell something, searching diligently to find who will buy, just so they don't return with them. Well you might think guys are not searching for wives too, well indeed they are!!! Girls if you didn't know, know thee now! Everybody wants something good, so while you think that you're the only one that is in dire need of something to hold on to, why don't you give yourself some pride and tell yourself that there's someone that might be looking for you too. Oh no I hate to talk about relationships, marriage and stuffs cos I always find myself being so controversial that more often than not, the aftermath is always me pondering on whether I'm really abnormal as they always argue. Well, we all know in this "little market" the guys are more advantaged since a girl has these clocks ticking for her....biological clock, social clocks etc... but seriously I don't believe in you stuffing down everything and hopping on anyone that beckons just cos you don't want that clock to tick by.

Immediately when I finished high school and during my first year at the university, a few of my classmates were already inviting me for their weddings...well I was what? 15/16 as at then. Anyway I started school very early so maybe I could understand this, maybe they were not as young as I was but seriously, the highest they would have been would be what? 20.
Lets take 20 for instance, you've only lived 20 years of your life, if you are supposed to live for a 100 years(tentatively), then understand that you'll be spending 80 long years with this person, now that's something you want to be careful with.
Think about it, within these 20 years, were there days you thought were too long and boring? Some moments that were so unbearable that you wanted to either fast forward or even rewind? well that was only one fifth of your life that you lived right there!!! If you ask me, I'll say I had them too. There were times when my parents pissed me off so much that I was like thank God it's just the holidays, school will soon be resuming and I'll zoom away for another couple of months. 
No love, just incase you asked, there's no zooming away in marriage.
Now if you ask me I'll say that there's no need to pretend to be who you know you can't be just because you want in. Will you be able to pretend forever? When you are in, you are in...Ask married couples and they'll explain this better. Since marriage is something that your parents cannot decide for you, I think it's better you try to make it when you think your mind is mature enough to handle it. I'm just wondering the kind of guy I would have chosen at the age of 18! Perhaps some snorty nose alcoholic with the trouser sagged down to the knees and I would have gone like oh so "hippy and trendy",#typical teen thoughts... then I wake up some other day and be like "can you drag those rags you call trousers up, please"?

Well back to our inspirational tattoo story. I have this funny tendency of drawing my inspiration from things that usually do not instantly co-relate. I'll break the marriage part down cos I have a feeling it was easier for you to follow with the tattoo. 

-With a messed up tattoo, people will always look at you and go "what was she thinking?" Totally same with marriage, if you make the wrong choices.
-Nobody will remember the tattoo artist (well at least he's not the one wearing it), so don't go, we were match made or it was my parent's decision...sweetheart, you're going to be the one bearing Mrs whosoever so your parents do not really count afterwards. Bottomline is you can't blame it on anyone, you'll be the one to live with it.
-When you're tired of your tattoo and think it's time to get it off, consider that there'll be more pains and you'll need to spend more money than you did while getting it. Think it's not the same with marriage? Visit a court when they are handling a divorce case and you'll be well convinced that it is. 
-The most you can do to get your tattoo off would be a laser treatment, which doesn't completely clear it. Everybody will look at your hand for instance, and know that you once had a tattoo there...When you eventually need to get rid of your marriage, your marital status can never go back to "single" but it'll be "divorced". People will always ask, "so what happened?" What will be your reply?  At least I think it's important to worry about that person that people will always call your ex husband forever even if you are sure you'd get a divorce if it wasn't good.
Don't you think so too? Will you always look at him and think "yea once in my life I was stupid"?

Someone once said that most girls were gold diggers, another one countered and said that the diamond diggers outnumbered those digging for gold these days. This got me laughing and analyzing. The rise in desperate girls is so amazing that sometimes I wonder whether there's a special school they go to learn something I'm yet to be aware of or somewhere that clears their mind of things that they should really care about. (The diamond here signifies wedding bands and engagement rings).

Well guys are not left out on these, even though it's more common for ladies to want to rush into marriages, a lot of guys also think it's an easy way out for them. They wake up in the morning, they try to clean their house or set a meal, and they encounter certain difficulties, you hear them "I think it's time to settle down". Their friends do not help either "oh boy abeg find woman where go dey help you with all these things". Is that all you really want? A cook? A maid? If that's all you want, I'm sure you'll save yourself so much trouble if you just hire those.
When you hear guys talk about what they want in their wives, you'll be so surprised at how it is everything that they can't be. "Cares for me, takes care of the home, boss at work, but still combines all those house wife duties perfectly, independent but very submissive...."

I do not believe in divorce, I so believe in.."as you lay your bed...", no wonder the topic of marriage raises my intelligence quotient. No offence to divorced people out there. By all means, if it boils down to that, then do it. I'm not saying it's a taboo, I'm just saying that at the rate it's occurring these days it just shows that people do not spend time to think about their choices.

So dear diamond diggers...when you chase the diamond, remember that it's important to think whether the diamond will be worth wearing forever, not how expensive and attractive, but to whom you're wearing it for.



  1. Your correlation is this article is amazing. I think one the reason for the increase in the rate of single parents in Europe, America as well as Africa could be the fact highlighted in this article. However, I would like you to stress the essence of marriage in your next blogging. Ciao! ayo

  2. The way some girls rush into marriage is unbelievable! If they make a mistake, they can never erase it or take back the time they had. Me? I am patiently waiting oh. No rush please. Nice correlation indeedy!

    I think though, that if you want to get out of a marriage, please do. Late is better than never. If it gets to the point where you don't even want to go home, then run! lol


  3. Hi Ayo
    Thanks for the review...
    About your request, It might not be exactly easy since I'm not married. I do have some ideologies that I'm yet to experiment but I don't think I'm fully equipped to talk about it with confidence. I don't want to write something that I'll look back years after and think "Oh how wrong I was".
    Anyway one thing I do know is that, you don't get married because you are looking for that superhuman that will take away all your problems, rather someone that will be there to help when you have to face them.
    Your request is still under consideration though, just wish me some good inspiration for that:)

  4. I know right, sometimes they even think the best thing is to rush and get pregnant...baffles me indeed!
    Of course I know, if you were careless enough to marry a pretender(or maybe he/she just changed overnight...), the best thing is to leave if it becomes detrimental to your life...I just always look at divorced couples and wish it never got to that, esp when I see the ones with kids.
    Thanks Adiya...and pls take your time my dear, it's the best decision ever <3

  5. well,very good post but emphasis shouldn't be made only on the ladies after all guys do wear tattoos with errors so they also make mistakes in marriage.I don't know why people rob themselves of the only time they have,the only chance they have and then get into marriage with little or no awareness,the earlier people esp nigerians realise what marriage entails the better for us all else like yhu said,next thing is court trying to settle their wahala.
    This is my first time and I love ur blog,I particularly liked the 100 truths though I found it very disgusting,funny and educative-yea I learnt sth and I'm following asap,pls follow back on gretel-premonitionofthepast.blogspot.com,thanks,hope to read more.

  6. Hmm its not only ladies who rush into Marriages ,a handful of guys do too..Patience is the Keyword here..Nice post..its my 1st time on your blog,u just got yourself a new stalker :)

  7. well said Jane, well said....nothing wrong with digging for diamonds as long as u are prepared to wear it forever with all the baggage that might come with it.....lol

  8. i think this was excellently written with very strong points. there's nothing to add. it's just the plain truth. well done!

  9. very nice write-up.


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