I know this seems like I want to talk about the Tyler Perry Movie LOL
Nah! I tried to gather the different reasons that make people consider the subject of marriage. This is what this post is about, the essence of marriage. I was reading through my old posts, and I came across this one ---> Would you like to wear that ring?
The part where Mr Ayo wanted me to talk about the essence of marriage struck me. I don't know why I tried to chicken out(don't mind me, I can be a little laid back sometimes). I noticed that I said I couldn't talk about it because I wasn't married. Well truth is, I might not be well equipped to talk about it (lack of experience) but I'm sure I can say a couple of stuffs about it too. I don't know why he wanted this, but I sure will grant his request.
Here it is, and I hope it's not too late :)
But what fosters this desire?
Here are some of the points I tried to pen down:
1. Social status
3. Mental conditioning
4. Societal pressure
5.Religious or cultural backings
7. Sense of belonging
8. Security - e.g emotional, financial...
9. Economic reasons
And of course there are those that do not even have an idea at all. (yea it happens)
So at the end of the day, I've come to the conclusion that love is very essential for marriage to work.
Though love is not enough, but love is very essential. It doesn't matter the reason for you wanting to be married; convenience, procreation, companionship or whatever, just make sure that you are married to someone that you truly love and that love is mutual. That's what will keep you away from cheating, or waking up one day and wanting to just stay unmarried or worst, slicing the person like a piece of cheap meat!
(Note: very gruesome pictures when you click the link, continue only if you don't mind)
Now this is a clear illustration of "it's better to stay unmarried than to dwell in a bad one" (Geez people freak me the hell out!) Pheww maybe this was actually the inspiration I needed. Because right now, I feel like everybody needs to just sit down and think about why marriage is so important to them. It's more like we should put it like "marriage or life, which would you rather?" Of course I'm talking about those that try to make it seem like it's a do or die affair.
I actually want to get married someday, maybe it's out of curiosity I'm not sure yet. I just want to know how it would feel to meet that person that will make you want to just get married. Apart from that, I feel like marriage has got to be the most overrated topic after sex and love. But most importantly, I always feel like I'm not ready.
I hear people say "Marriage is a 50/50 thing". Well I'll say that's why most marriages fail. When you go with the mind set of giving 50 so you can take away 50, it won't work. If you decide to get married to take away whatever you want to take, it'll never work. That's where a lot of people miss it. If the parties involved decide on their own to give more than 50%. At least 75% because you've decided to go the extra mile to help your partner out with their 25% , that is one built on love and concern for each other. It is very wrong to go with the mindset of having a need fulfilled, I think a better approach is to go with the aim of offering something to someone you think deserves it, and hopefully you find someone that has the same mindset. That's true love, that's what marriage should be about, companionship. 2 people coming together to see themselves as one. That's the kind that will last, the one where everybody is working hard to take the burden of each other's shoulder and they will never forget to appreciate every show of love. It's not about your needs, it's about wanting to take the responsibility off the one you've chosen. Real love gives, it doesn't care about what is there to lose or take.
Let me finish this with this favourite phrase of mine "For God so loved the world, that he GAVE". John 3.16...Every christian knows this verse. It's one of my best. It shows the relationship between love and giving. For me I always try to relate marriage with this verse. Selfless love - that is the essence of marriage.
P.s. If you think I'm leaving behind any point, please leave it as a comment. Your input will be well appreciated. And also if you'd like me to break down the points a little bit more, let me know. It'll be my pleasure. I thought they were pretty explanatory that's why I didn't elaborate more on them, but of course I might be wrong.