Tuesday, 22 January 2013

TRADITIONAL ROLES

Hey lovelies
There is something about a man who can get in the kitchen and slam his own thing that I appreciate so much, at least I know that I don't have some sort of a suckling who is totally dependent on me to save him from starvation. I wouldn't help but think along the lines of "What if I'm not around?" He'd jump to the paths of any sweet smelling aroma?
On the other hand, I  do love to own my kitchen, meaning I'd like to be responsible for most of the  magic that happens around there. But of course I also want to know that I have a man that can treat me to something tasty on those 'not so it' days. Ok pardon me, let me try to be straight forward, but I do appreciate my pamper moments :)

This topic is going to be a little controversial. Today, we'll be talking about traditional roles and some of you may not share my point of view, but if we all remember to keep things civil, nobody will get hurt. The aim is not to start a conflict here, but please do well to share your views :)



Nowadays, everybody thinks they can just easily flip places. What happened people?
No darlings! You can't. Somethings are just meant to be the way they are.
Our body configuration made it that way, that's why he's called ' a man' and she's called ' a woman'.
Don't try to force it.
I know the way this century is going, everything is getting so confusing that I think it's high time we sat down to reevaluate some of these roles again that I'd like to call "traditional roles".
It sounds archaic but it worked for our parents, there were not so many divorces and problems like today so heck yea! Why not?

This isn't about trying to establish the fact that it should be the woman that should carry the baby, well if he wants to change nature, that's his biz. That's too logical for me to make a post for, common sense should already establish that. This is more like who should take the front seat and when?
Please forget about that gender equality thing for now, if you want your relationship/marriage to work, you have to be able to realign your duties based on aptitude. You ready?
Without much ado, I'll go ahead and break down some of these roles for you:

1. It is a woman's place to manage the home front. This is a gift that we have as women and for things to go well, it's just best we utilize this gift. Don't tell me but "I can't cook" Learn! It is your job to make sure that your family is well taken care of as a woman. The man is only helping. Have you ever wondered why we are the ones that are blessed with the gift of breast feeding and having to nurture the baby right from the womb? Now you know :)
However, it is only fair that he helps too. I mean the reason you both are together is to help each other out. Please correct me if I'm wrong :)


2. So we understand that men have this ego stuff that works for/against them :)
Well, you can be independent and always getting it right and all that, but it's important that you learn to let him be a man when he needs to. Yes, you need to learn to take the back seat and let him flex. This can be a little hard sometimes when you feel like you can do better or basically you know you can do it yourself, but you need to learn to draw the line from when you are the miss know it all and when you should learn to relax and let him treat you like his woman. It is just a quality that they want to own, don't know why, don't ask me, ask the men :)
This might sound complicated, but it's all about trust. Of course, the guy also has a lot to do here. If he just acts up out of intimidation or inferiority complex, there'll always be a problem where he's going to be struggling and trying too hard. So you see, everything is just less complicated when there's true love. Not by any external or environmental drives but innate love. Because love is thinking about making the next person happy and not thinking so much about you, you and you! With love it's easy to let whoever can play the part well (or wants to) to do it without so much ado and unnecessary stress.
There's nothing as endearing as a woman that will depend on you to do certain things even though you know she can do it herself.
I heard this adage one time "Two cocks cannot crow in a house at one time, there's meant to be chaos" One just has to let one do the job and then it will involve less energy and it will be more effective. But in a situation where both of them are struggling to be heard, even the simplest things will become very hard and enervating.


3. It's so easy for a guy to scream submit! submit! But really submit to what? You can't even make good decisions for yourself and you expect her to fold her hands and listen to the bull crap that has not been working for you? You have to make sense too if you want to be heard. Now, that's something you have to work on. It's not about passing orders and trying to be the man, it's about offering solutions. And really, if you want to do this effectively, you have to kick selfishness away and always remember that you're talking and thinking on someone's behalf so make it reasonable. And if this is such a big task, while she does it gracefully, aint nothing wrong with you deciding to put your ego in check, shut the hell up with your "submit rant" and let her do the job. The aim is to find the right person for the task based on aptitude and not gender.   


4. Put some work where your mouth is. It is the man's place to make sure that the family is well provided for. Even the bible says, I quote "A man that cannot provide for his family is worse than an infidel"
Again, both parties have to understand that it is the man's place to cater for the family and the woman is only helping.
Of course again remember you're there to help each other. There are circumstances where she can be richer than him, but with love again, this shouldn't be a problem. I'm only saying that because I'm trying to pretend as if I'm oblivious of the fact that this is a very big problem in most cases, infact this deserves another post on it's own that I'm sure I'd oblige soon :)

It mustn't always be like this. If you already have something that is working, then by all means, keep it. You know what they say ...if it ain't broken ..'
BUT if it is not working, then the parties involved need to return to the drawing board and set things in place. You might need this as a reference point just because it has proven to work severally.
"Every good marriage/relationship didn't just spring up, it took the efforts of the parties involved"

Goodluck!

P.s: If you want me to talk about the 'wife is richer, so it's not working' situation, say "yea" at the 'comments section'
And you know how we always do this, leave your inputs too.
It's always good to hear a combination of opinions :)


Love always
JB




13 comments:

  1. Yea!
    I loved how you gave an equal assessment for both genders. Thank you.

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  2. Well written MsJB. On the Cooking aspect,the "what if i`m not around" would not matter if u have a guy who loves to do his own cooking hence he might not fall into someone elses sweet sweet smelling aroma. well Guys will always be Guys. we are weird in our own way.. Interesting read. :)

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  3. Very interesting Ms, I can’t say I agree with you on all the points but I get where you are coming from. In my opinion, sticking with traditional gender roles is not always in the best interest of a family

    ReplyDelete
  4. ..... "shut the hell up with your "submit rant""....
    LOL, were you angry ni? what fueled making this post?
    You made some valid points but no 4 is tricky though. Interesting read

    ReplyDelete
  5. lol @ the photo... but yup a man that can cook = HUGE ASSET

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  6. My own idea if you cannot cook, hire a cook if you don't have time to learn.

    I do not argee with all the points but then again this is your views and not mine.

    ReplyDelete
  7. nothing as good as a man that can cook....i don't buy all the points though.

    ReplyDelete
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