Saturday, 1 February 2014

Do not go to Nigeria if...

Hey lovelies

So I went to Nigeria for my brother's wedding and to tell you the truth, every body I know was either married, getting married or busy asking everyone they know if they were or when they'd be getting married. 
If you're busy with any other thing, you are on a long thing! Gosh the infectious ill! 
I heard it over and over again. "You are next!" So when are you getting married?" 
"We can't wait for yours." 
I had to find a response that was very effective
"When it is time, you will sure hear"



It wasn't any easier on my birthday. Everyone that proposed a toast had to re-echo the 'husband part' 
At some point I had to tell them about my urgent needs.
Not when I'm thinking of how to meet all my deadlines and people are busy focusing their wishes on something that was the least of my worries. I'm not saying marriage is bad, I mean we all will get married (at least I want to) but it's just not the only thing that matters, to be honest. 
"How about we talk about how I can make the deadline I have the week after?" That was a more urgent need, wasn't it? Tsk! Tsk!
If only they knew how disturbing meeting my deadline was to me compared to marriage. 

You meet a young promising lady and she starts telling you about her dreams and you just want to puke. "Marry a rich guy" Seriously?! 
You run into an old acquaintance and they just want to you give you a quick flashback of all that you missed about their achievements. 
I am 'Mrs' *insert one guy from a renowned background* 
And I'm wondering if that's all they really want to be? 'Mrs somebody' and that is it?! 
What happened to all the young girls with dreams that were my classmates, schoolmates, neighbours...? 
Reality happened, they say! 
Sorry, not *settling! 

It is so funny that you go to someone's LinkedIn profile and you see 'devoted wife, loving mother'
Sweedy, stick to your 'wifely prowess' in your space, ain't nobody needing all of that on social networks, ESP not on a professional one like LinkedIn! 

You might think that what I'm telling you is a joke, but you have no idea. 
People pause their entire lives for this. If you work a job that doesn't give you time, it is advised that you take a break and go for a man hunt. My medical doctors, take note! 

Wonder why the most lucrative business is the wedding business?
You better be ready to bring down the sky to announce to the whole world that you are getting married else, you are far from sane. Let's find a health disorder for you. Erm still thinking!
With expensive wedding planners, fairy tale event settings and coverage, who needs to save money for any other thing in the world? Are you crazy not to care?
Please, the status quo is "have an 'out of the world sorta' wedding and sort your lives out later if you can"
If you can't, oh well! 

Did I say the wedding business is a lucrative one? Rephrase that, include the whole subject of marriage. Do you know how costly it is to pay for marriage counselings? 
Why did I bother with all these school things? There are several ways to make fast money these days sigh!

Pastors have found a way to make the most of it. They beat me to it :)
From one 'who stole my wedding dress' crusade to 'get your man now' program, the world is definitely missing out on what is happening in Nigeria. 
There is always one program or the other, centered around ladies, desperately trying to tie the knots. Wonder why it's just the ladies? Just take a trip to Nigeria and you'll find all the answers you need. 

Erm  do not say I didn't warn you tho.
DO NOT GO TO NIGERIA IF YOU ARE NOT MARRIED!

Love always 
JB 

...to be continued!



33 comments:

  1. loooooooooooooooooooooool na wa you did not really give reason as to why we shouldn't go to naija.

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  2. True talk oo the naija society are so concerned abt marriage like its the height of all lifes achievement nt that its not proper buh make dem take am easy.HABA.

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  3. Couldn't agree more Jane.

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  4. Hehe. Not entirely surprising....a lil sickening tbh...

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  5. hehehehehehehehehhe Cant stop laughing sha Ms JB, HNM. mehn this Big wedding thing nor be small thing here oh! and it is even affecting young start up guys like innocent me. I know someone who just lost a girl who liked him(well me), just cause she is "Imposed" on some RICH MANS son who doesnt care for her, and calls her like 2ce a month from Europe. And am Like if she is satisfied with that, just let her be. it is sickening that many Naija ladies have decided to Trade their Big dreams of success with marrying some Rich name... I cry in French... My pain is not in the getting married wahala, but in the new Trend of getting married to a "BIG MANS SON" wahala. Udo

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  6. I totally agree with what you are saying. People look at me strangely when I tell them I are not defined by the type of man you marry. When I am in Nigeria and I run into an old school mate the conversation always goes like you described and afterwards I am asked 'when are you getting married you know you are old' like seriously? I just told you I presented at an international conference in Europe and you feel being a 'Mrs' trumps my achievement? I think loads of ladies in Uyo need to have a reality check and get out of this sickness. The question I always pose to them is 'What if something happens and this man cant buy you cars and shoes anymore, who is going to help you?'

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  7. Over here in Asia, people actually pay women to pretend to be their girlfriends or future wives. Very sad. But on the flip, I think people should just stop asking when one is getting married. No one asks when one is dying! lol

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  8. So true. I felt the brunt of this recently.
    Maybe i should do a post on it.

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  9. Very true, the status quo must be kept otherwise you are seen as weird. Get to school, get a job, get married, have kids etc. etc.

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