Tuesday, 19 August 2014

Dear JB: I get envious of my successful friends

Dear JB
I have been very depressed lately. It all started when I noticed that I feel very bitter when I see my friends making money while things aren't exactly working for me. It makes me feel like a failure. Like I am not working had enough. The worst part is that I noticed I even start to feel jealous.
Please, help.

J.

Dear J
I think I know that feeling where you feel like you are working harder, so you deserve better. Life is not that explicit. Life is really more complex than we can clearly comprehend. 
The first thing you have to understand is that success is subjective. What does success mean to you? In my opinion, success is more than just having money. 
Be grateful for the things that you have. When you count them as privileges, you will not have time to envy others. You have to understand that there is more to life than what people tend to show. There are many people who may meet your idea of success but you have to understand that they may even look at you and want some of the things that you have. Also, remind yourself constantly that you are not in a competition with anyone. 
About you working hard and not seeing the kind of success you want, again it boils down to you being able to define what success means to you. When I look at the process I have to go through to attain the kind of success I want, I simply tell myself it is because I want something different. You are not just looking for money, you are looking for fulfillment that is why you are taking the longer routes. 
Taking longer routes to success has its own benefits. It is the more sustainable form of success.
So whenever you see your friend succeeding, wish them well because you know that one day it will be your turn to be on the receiving end too. 
Good luck

JB

Remember you can send your concerns to janylbenyl@gmail.com

8 comments:

  1. True that BM. I can sooo relate to this post. Sometimes it strikes me that life is just not playing out as i want, and that some of the things I want aren't just coming my way. At those times, it weights me down. But I am learning to shake it off like a wet dog, and like you said a while ago, a heart of gratitude opens doors of opportunities. So rather than be tempted to get Jealous, i intentionally celebrate for and with my friend, and on the long run when I look deep inside, i realise i am not so bad after all... :)

    .....You are not just looking for money, you are looking for fulfillment that is why you are taking the longer routes.... This line struck me the most Blog Mother. Nice post. Cheers.

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  2. Life is no competition.... we all have our paths, if you find your purpose you wouldnt need be jealous of others.

    9ce post ma

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  3. Absolutely!
    Rejoice with your friends when it's their turn. Jealousy will only pull you down
    Life is no competition
    It's best to concentrate on what matters
    Thanks guys

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  5. blessings.....

    It would be wise to understand that someone else success may not be your success. We all have different paths in life and some get there before others. Be mindful that what you are allowing yourself to fume about what amounts to window dressing because you truly don't know the inside of a person's life, their struggles, what they may be going through or have been through in order to achieve the things they have going for them. Stop allowing yourself to drown in petty jealousy and focus on your life.

    The reason you are struggling is because you are measuring worthiness and in doing so you are placing yourself below everyone else thinking because you don't have this or that, you are less worthy and less valued. (You might want to examine the things you place value on and how you measure success) That kind of thinking will get you into trouble with yourself, your spirit and your very soul, it will take you down and your self-esteem, self-image, value and worth will be in the toilet and you will have no one to blame for yourself. Sure you feel a bit insecure (that's called being human) but don't let that spoil your happiness for your friends who are making strides and experiencing the fruits of their labor (wouldn't you want them to be happy for you if the situation were reversed?). Be happy for them or get out of the way because sooner or later they will catch on to your nasty enviousness and move away from you. One of the keys to success, is knowing your worth, understanding your value and what you have to offer (bring to the table), if you don't then this is the time to refocus your energies, first by minding your own business, finding out what you like, what you don't like, what you are good at, what you enjoy, where your strengths lie and where your weakness reside and get to work! Start working on improving strengths, strengthening weaknesses and building your self-esteem and worth.

    Peace.

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    Replies
    1. Wow!! Rhapsody, a thousand likes for this comment... I mean it has so much truth in it... Mehnn...

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    2. Thanks for your input Rhapsody
      That was so spot on

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