Friday, 20 February 2015
Tell me not
A few years after I made a decision to walk these paths in the manner I assured myself I had mastered, it took another bout of excitement to displace my very rational thoughts.
Tall, dark and handsome, cliche I know, but these have never mattered to me.
Cool, calm and collected, the perfect epitome in every sense, now that got to me and more.
Down to earth, thoughtful, easy going, smart with an unmissable streak of confidence in every move. I've never seen any man as easy to love as him. Love? Did I just mention love?
I love his voice. It's soft, yet piercing.
I watched him make me his priority, far from anything I expected of him. As shrewd as this may seem, it was hard not to believe I was only being careless to follow suit.
I noticed the hesitancy. He was willing to give everything and nothing, at the same time. Sorta hard to fathom the odds.
As I failed to be as cautious as I knew I'd be, I hit the floor with an unswerving indigence.
I felt the jolt, right up to my guts. It wasn't swift, it was persistent - as persistent as the sun in its death throes. It's been difficult sifting through the ruins. Promises upon promises, I have made to myself to never fail myself again like I did. Should I? Shouldn't I?
An unfamiliar feeling lodging in a place that felt so familiar. It's a love-hate feeling.
It's always best when it's felicitous - but this right here doesn't feel anything like that. This right here is unhealthy, it's insane - I mean stark, raving madness.
Whenever I was down this road, I pictured a tour de force sorta exit, but the reality is that I cannot come to terms with the fact that I will be trudging through this time or perhaps, a reluctant slithering.
.... To be continued.
Have a lovely weekend
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