Tuesday, 5 May 2015

Are you being abused?

Hey Lovelies

A lot of people are in abusive relationships and they have no clue. We are more tuned to recognize physical abuse yet are oblivious of the other kinds. More women tend to be victims of physical abuse while men are more often dealt the other types. These are just generalizations because any one can be a victim of any kind of abuse. The most important thing is being able to recognize the many forms of abuse and protecting yourself from them. 

Continue to take a look at them

Physical abuse:
This is the most commonly mentioned. Any abuse that involves physical attack is categorized under physical abuse. It is not the most common as people usually believe, it's just the fact that it is easily recognized. From my experience, most victims of physical abuse usually pass through preliminary stages of other kinds of abuse without fully understanding what they are dealing with. In my opinion, it is the climax of the other forms of abuse.

Emotional abuse:
People usually do not understand how easy they can fall into this trap and be very comfortable with it. You see them making excuses for their partner because they have been successfully manipulated to think that they deserve everything they are getting. 
This can be very dangerous because it drains the victim of their self worth overtime. From constant criticisms and incessant guilt trips, they may start to see life through the abuser's eyes in no time.
The worst part is that this usually leads to physical abuse if not properly managed at the onset. 

Verbal abuse:
Verbal abuse usually starts in the form of mean and hurtful jokes, then escalates to name callings and humiliation even in front of third parties. The biggest problem with verbal abuse just like the 
emotional abuse is that they do not leave physical signs for easy recognition by other people (e.g friends and family), thus the victims linger on on their own without help. It can be very dangerous because sometimes, the victims believe they are really worthless and choose to end their frustrations by ending their lives. 

A common problem with victims of abuse is that they usually need third parties to help them understand that it is not their fault that they are being abused. 
Also, it is not unusual for them to be oblivious of what is really going on and may need someone to spell it out to them that they are being abused. They make a common mistake of wallowing in self pity until they start to see it as a fact of life or their fate. 

Relationships are meant to be enjoyed. There is nothing beautiful about being abused. If you ever sense that you are being abused, talk to someone immediately and help your partner to get help before things get any worse. Sometimes, the abuser does not even understand that he is indeed abusing his victim. Early detection is always the best bet for any situation. Don't die in silence, speak up.

Read more about abusive relationships here and be aware of the warning signs to look out for. 

Love always
Twitter/Instagram: @janylbenyl

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  1. The problem more often that not is that the abused ususally turns around and defends his/her abuser...

    1. Yea, they have a distorted perception of what is really normal

  2. It's actually happening! And the problem is that we don't talk about it as much as we should. Victims feel like they're not safe sharing it. Sad really.

    I hope we can put a stop to this.

    Thanks for discussing this.

    1. Hmmm...the topic we cringe from discussing. The abused wants to protect her image in the presence of her friends and family, so she keeps the abuse a secret. Emotional and verbal abuse are worse because people never see the physical scars. I truly hope anyone in this situation will find the courage to speak up and not let shame of "what will people think of me" wear her down.

    2. Ehmmm **scratches relaxed hair... But Lola I beg to differ oh... You said HER... Men get abused too both Physically and verbally... I for one do not feel that issues of abuse are limited to the female gender alone... Oya bye bye 😁

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  4. Oooshey "OBLIVIOUS" New English added to my Vocabulary.. and the crowd goes.. Yeaaaahhh mehn! No more me abusing "Huh" Up and down.. Eureka!!!! There is hope.. heheheheh Befire you know it Janyl, me sef will be denge Posing and speaking big big Onyibo words all thanks to Blogger **Shines teeth..

    Oooossssheey Turn uP! Okay Mama now this was a very ghen ghen read as usual.. Lemme just say that this line got me the most like pow!

    "most victims of physical abuse usually pass through preliminary stages of other kinds of abuse without fully understanding what they are dealing with"

    ... and in my 23 years 4 months and 25 days young and confused head I am like... yeah mehnn.. You know ehn BM, i for one think many people are unconscious of the fact that they are being abused cause they are blinded by Love and disillusioned by hope.. (Call me crazy, but if anyboRRy try and Touch my sister or my BM ehnnn.. Na Heaven them go settle our Quarrel.. If you like Tall like Iroko Tree) and so they just go deeper and deeper in like quick sand till they are left with scars... both Physical and emotional scars... Its wrong to abuse people.. its wrong to make another feel less. I once saw a man talk down his wife with these words at Church " You irritate me atimes" right there in Public oh! and in my mind i was like Huh?! :) Baba you married her from a family, you did not buy her from Park and Shop nah...

    All in all sha, my millennial message to anyone in an abusive Relationship is simple, and similar to the presidential slogan of the great Ben Carson... #Run-Dear-Run...

    But Mama can i ask a kind kweshion?! What do you advice of women being beaten up by their Husbands?! Do they park up and close shop by abandoning the marriage via Divorce?! Or do they stay and pray for the man as most Churches Preach... Cheers Mama and Thank you for all the ghen-ghen ghen-ghen things you have been doing ninu aye mi :) and the crowd goes Uuuuuuuuugghhh...


Thanks for your feedback!
I enjoy reading them :)

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