Tuesday, 6 October 2015

Abuse: Why women are the common victims #1

Hey Lovelies

I know I have dealt with the topic of abuse in the past. I believe it is one of those health issues that is commonly swept under the carpet until it becomes vividly unavoidable. I decided to add it to my Health Awareness Project, something I am still working on at the moment. Full details about the project will be revealed as soon as it is fully launched. In the meantime, I thought I should talk about some of the reasons why we often downplay the topic of abuse in relationships until it gets to the point of no return. 

Like I mentioned in my previous posts on the topic, it is interesting that it is very preventable but we often ignore the warning signs. A lot of women do not even know what the case is as we speak. Let me ask: Do you know that women and children are the common victims of abuse?
The issue now is that not only do people ignore the warning signs, they also tend to ignore the real indications of an abuse in itself, because they are oblivious of anything different. 
Like Chimamanda once said, expose someone to a certain reality and over time they see it as the norm (paraphrased). Most women do not even know how to recognize the signs of an abuse, neither do they know how to help their partners when they are heading down the abusive paths. When in doubt, do a research or talk to a counsellor. If he tries to raise your hand at you when you have an argument and then suddenly realizes and stops, one day he might carry through with it, have the talk. Let him know how you really feel when he does that and what that could mean. Don't be afraid, a man that really cares will work harder at controlling the impulse.

Physical abuse is gradually becoming a huge issue that cannot be ignored. Research shows that the numbers are still high, and women are the most affected, there is always room for more advocacy. Be informed, share the word!

Love always

Photo Credit: Source 


  1. My heart goes out to the victims. I really really hope we can put an end to this soon. No woman deserves such treatment.

    1. Fingers crossed, dear
      I'm very hopeful too

  2. Dear Ms JB, the subject of abuse is not as simple as it looks. Its much more complex. Studies have shown that women who suffer abuse often tends to go for men who are abusers. The reason is than men who are abusers also tend to be very charming and loving. They are able to manipulate their feelings of their victims and also get them to be dependent so that they will find it very difficult to leave.For example they can use a leverage such as giving you a lift wherever you go to a point that you loose your confidence going on public transport and if you have to do without him depend on taxis which is very expensive. That way the lady becomes hooked and is trapped and cannot leave. If its not a lift it could be money or any other incentives that will make you hooked. And once emotions are involved rationality doesnt always come in and thats why its difficult to understand why women who are being abused cannot leave. I personally know a couple that have called the police over 10 times into the home and each time the police ask the man to leave but in no time the lady begins to miss him again and he comes back. And the same thing is repeated until such at time that it stops. In one of the instances the man was banned one mile radius from the house but that did not work. As soon as the ban was over he was back in the house and now they have two kids and are still together. So the issue is more complex than we manage.


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