Tuesday, 3 May 2016

6 ways to survive being a Nigerian

Hey Lovelies

To be a succesful Nigerian, you must develop some essential survival skills. Some people may not have the necessary attributes to be "Naija and proud" So they pray, and hope...
Let's see which of them you can pride yourself with.

1. Believe
Read be gullible.

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You have to learn to believe and trust people easily especially if the person tells you to. Why do you think there are so many churches in these parts? You must be extremely gullible - believe that every and anything is possible. Keyword - Believe!
Even the politicians know that Nigerians want you to lie to them make them believe so they use it to their advantage.
E.g. I will make N1 to be equal to $1. As a true Nigerian, you do not need to hear about the action plans/time line for expected objectives. Believe and show that you believe. In other words, there would be no need for questions like 'how' and 'when'. As a true Nigerian, an appropriate response in this case should be "I believe you, baba"

2. Be optimistic

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Once you're passed the stage of believing, you have to take things up a notch by being extremely optimistic.
You have to play your own reality in your head and forget about everything else that doesn't fit into that picture. Everything is possible and most Nigerians are focused on those miracles possibilities.
Let's test your Nigerianess..
How do you think Nigerians can overcome some of the issues that have plagued us for a very long time? If your answer sounded anything like "By working hard at solving them" then you are wrong. Be careful 'cause you might be shipped down to Ghana soon. Ask a true Nigerian and they'll tell you the first option is by being optimistic. The second option? Being optimistic. Please, don't ask me what the tenth or hundredth option would be 'cause you already know the answer.
E.g. If Jumoke could move from being a bread seller to a star in a matter of minutes, I am next in line.


3. Pray

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As a general rule, you must pray and know how to strategically show that you are praying.
No one cares who you're praying to. Just convince everyone that you are praying. And most importantly, urge others to pray too. Create hashtags, post pictures, make everyone know you're praying about all the issues that should be worrisome. Trust me, almost every Nigerian that sees any indication that it's a prayer (post) will add an 'amen' or 'amin' and everything will be well until there is need to pray again. 

4. Have a sense of humor

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This one is an absolute necessity. If you are not gifted with laughing over everything that may look like a misfortune, then you are guaranteed to die young. Turn everything into a joke and just literally LOL or you will just have a heart attack and you will be gone while those problems will still be there btw. 

5. Try social media therapy


Almost every Nigerian I know is on social media and no, Nigerians do not usually use social media to pass info or the kind of things that you think make you a great 'socialpreneur'. How do you think most people survive boring nights? These are the people you will find on social media - people ranting about one issue or the other, people trying to show off one thing or the other, people hoping to create relationships, people trying to create entertainment for themselves and other bored ones, and the minute minority that are using it to pass across important messages. Let's forget about the latter group. They aren't bored apparently. Nigerians typically use social media to ease boredom and worries. 

6. Be innovative
And this is probably the only thing you should take home from this. Most Nigerians that make it do not wait for the government to come as a knight in shiny armour or you will join the first group and become the captain. Be realistic. The government of Nigeria has very little solutions for the problems of the average Nigerian. You have to wake up and create what you want for yourself. Opportunities abound, that is non debatable. Don't wait for the government. Tune into your quiet space. Dig up your talents, look for ways to harness your skills and turn them into your own break through. Now you are allowed to be optimistic :) 

If all these fail, buy a very big "Ghana Must go" bag, pack all your stuff and relocate to Ghana :)

Hope these helped :)

Love always
JB
Twitter/Instagram: @janylbenyl


6 comments:

  1. That made me chuckle. How are you, hope life's great!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm doing alright, Blogoratti
      Thanks

      Delete
  2. Lovely Janyl! Hilarious but so true!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Now this got me smiling.
    Especially the pray and humuor points!

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